Guest bloggers Paula Brockwell and Emma Djemil explore why people are breaking up with HR, and what can you do to reset your relationship.
Fallen out of love with HR? Here are some steps to get things back on track.
Our conversations about the ‘state of HR’,whatever topic we are exploring consistently covers the wellbeing and engagement of our HR contacts and friends. We can see that people are ready to pop and lets be honest it’s not just us that think that?
A study in 2022 by WEVO indicated that of the 520 HR professionals in the United States and U.K. surveyed, 98% said they were burnt out. The inherent challenges of being in HR now, was further flagged by research in Jan 2023 that showed that two-thirds (67 per cent) of HR professionals have revealed they will leave their HR job for an entirely new challenge.
So why are so many people breaking up with HR, and if you are thinking about D.I.V.O.R.C.E (any other Dolly Parton fans around?)What can you do to reset your relationship with HR?
We knew the only person to ask was the awesome Emma Djemil, former in-house superstar HR leader, now founder of Be Unstoppable and the HR Club – the career development network for women in HR. Emma’s mission in life is to help women in HR see their true magic and use their strengths to make work a positive and fulfilling part of their lives.
So what would your breakup letter look like? We shared a letter with Emma and asked her to be our agony aunt!
Dear Emma,
I need your help, I’ve loved my career in HR in the past, but it’s got to the point where I’m seriously thinking about calling it quits, and I could really use your advice and support to help me navigate this decision.
It’s not an easy decision, and there’s a real sense of sadness that comes with it. One of the major reasons is the relentless workload and the constant stress that it brings. I often find myself juggling a multitude of tasks, from recruitment to employee relations, and it’s become overwhelming.
What’s just as frustrating is the compensation issue. Despite the huge challenges in my role, it feels like my salary doesn’t really reflect the level of responsibility and expertise required in HR. It never matches up to other professionals at the same level in my business.
On top of all this, I’ve been feeling somewhat isolated in my role. The support system I’d hoped for within the HR community seems to be lacking. It can be a challenging field, and having colleagues who understand and can provide guidance would make a world of difference.
But you know what? The feeling of being trapped is what’s really getting to me. I entered HR because I wanted to help people and organizations thrive, but it seems like I’m struggling to do that in this environment. It’s tough when you’re passionate about making a difference, but you feel like your hands are tied.
Honestly, I feel like I’m at a crossroads. I’m beginning to wonder if exploring new challenges in a different career might be the way to go. It’s not an easy decision, and the lack of choices is what makes it even harder.
I’m writing to you because I believe in the potential of HR and its ability to bring positive change. I don’t want to give up on something I’m passionate about, but I’m stuck right now.
What do I do next?
Your Sincerely
98% of HR Professionals today
Over to you!
Oh, I feel you. I really do. And one of the most powerful things I’ve found I can share with people is simply to let you know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. There’s nothing wrong with you and there’s nothing about you that needs to be fixed.
Now we have that out the way, I’d love to know. When was the last time you actively replenished? What about rest, when was the last time you rested? I don’t mean sleep, or collapsing on your sofa of an evening scrolling through your socials. No. I mean allowed your mind to switch off. Moved your body. Released the emotion that has built up inside you after a career at the messy and complex end of working with humans?
If I asked you what really replenished you and what you need regularly to be OK, would you even know the answer?
My guess would be that you probably don’t. And that’s OK, most of us never take the time to work this out. We’re told to work hard, push through, get things done and operate in a paradigm within our workplaces and our societies where meeting our needs is deprioritised and overlooked. And this is nowhere more prevalent than within our own profession, where we’re often expected to be at the beck and call of everyone else’s human experience, whilst suppressing our own.
Why all the questions about rest though? That’s not what your message is about, right?!
Well, it kinda is.
Because what you’re experiencing could be symptomatic of overwhelm. Your system might be in a stress response (understandable), and you could be looking to take flight as a result. Decisions from this place are rarely going to be in your best interest. They’ll be driven by a need to escape, to simply get away from where you are right now; and I know from experience this could result in an “out of the frying pan into the fryer” type scenario.
And herein lies my first suggestion for you. Get yourself back to an empowered state. Make the decisions that are going to prioritise you and your health, and put in place whatever you need to in order to deal with the demands of your role. Get out of overwhelm. That’s step number one.
Who knows, that might be all you actually need to do!
But, if not, as someone who has been through the decision to leave behind a long term career in HR myself, my next suggestion would be to get really clear on what you might be looking for, instead. I used a coach for this and fundamentally believe in the power of coaching for big life changing stuff like this. 10 out of 10, would recommend, do it if you can.
Appreciating that might not be an option for everyone, you might want to start keeping a journal of the work that you’re doing that lights you up, or has lit you up in the past. You can use this to understand not only what you love to do, but what you’re great at too, because using our strengths tends to give us energy.
Take the time too, to dream about the kind of life you want your work to facilitate. What would your ideal day look like? What work would feel meaningful to you and who would you love to work with? Create a bigger vision for your life that your work can contribute to, and start making the decisions that get that vision out in the world. This is step two – create your vision.
Lastly – but arguably one of the most powerful things you can do – build your network.
You haven’t got to do this alone.
There are many people in the world who want the best for you, who want to see you succeed, who are waiting for you to find them so that they can help you on your way. Open yourself up to the help that is available to you in abundance, if you’d only allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to let it in.
There is always something that you can do to impact the environment around you, but it doesn’t, and shouldn’t, have to always be a fight to have the impact in the world that I can tell you feel compelled to make. Ultimately, if you aren’t valued where you are (and I mean that both in terms of remuneration and in terms of what you’re enabled to achieve), then take yourself somewhere that will.
Step three. Find the people who can see you have so much to give. Who recognise how much you’ve achieved. Who sees that there is so much potential in you. Let them believe in you until you can believe in yourself again.
And never, ever let anyone shrink you to fit their model of who they think you should be.
To find out more about The HR Club, head over to https://thehrclub.beunstoppable.uk/ or connect with Emma on LinkedIn. And if you want to get a turbo-charged celebration of yourself and your profession, consider coming along to The HR Big Meet taking place on 17 May 2024 in London.